It’s finally Eid! After thirty days of tirelessly fasting Ramadan has come to an end. Eid is always a bittersweet moment, the bliss of not hearing “not even water?” again, but the sadness of knowing we will have to wait another year to witness this month over.
This Ramadan I definitely learned a lot! Not necessarily about Islam, but about myself (see previous post).
I wanted to share three things that I hope to remind myself for the next year, and I hope they will help you too. 🙂
1. “My life is a struggle between my need for acceptance, my fear of rejection, and a desire to not care at all.” This is a quote that I read, and it resonates with me a lot. Something that is hard on anyone is when people hate you because of certain things that you love about yourself. One thing that I pride myself with is that I know a lot of people, and I’m an easy person to have a conversation with. Hearing things like “she’s too out there” is something that really hurts me! It is not easy to let what others say about you not bother you. For me, what I hope to take away from this month is just accepting that no matter what, people will always disagree or hate, even on the things that we love about ourselves. It’s important for me that I recognize my strengths as a person, and use them to thrive.
2. The second thing I hope to take away from Ramadan this year is being content with my own self. Loneliness is something that I think everyone struggles with. What I’ve learned from good friends of mine is that the most important thing in love is to not waste our precious time waiting on someone who may never show up. I aspire to be the girl who goes to the movies alone and has a lovely time with herself, and even though it will take so much time to get there, when I finally achieve this self-love I know it will be great!
There is a poem from the book Milk and Honey that I really love,
“I do not want to have you
To fill the empty parts of me
I want to be full on my own
I want to be complete
I could light a whole city
I want to have you
Cause the two of us combines
Could set it on fire”
I read this poem almost two years ago when I bought this book, and only really realized the meaning of it this ramadan.
3. The last thing that I will talk about in this post is that IT’S OKAY TO CUT TIES! “You’re so nice” used to be something that I took as a compliment. It still is, just depending on the context. Sadly, being nice and people taking advantage sometimes goes hand in hand. What happens in a toxic friendship is that one person is not as invested as the other. I just left a really toxic friendship, and even though the person is great, us together as friends wasn’t great. It takes courage to leave, because it means cutting out a large part of our lives. If a friend tries to control you, or makes you feel bad about yourself, they are NOT your friend. Allah tells us how important our friends are, and even though we sometimes try to fight out, our friends really do shape who we are. In one of my first posts I talked about how you should always try and stand with the smartest person in the room, and try to be their friend. Why? Because you are bound to learn something from the smartest person in the room. All relationships are investments, and when you look at the world like that it really changes your point of view.
I hope all of our fasts, duas, and good deeds were accepted this month. I leave you with one last thing, and it something I tell myself everyday. If Allah is the most merciful, most forgiving, who am I as his creation not to forgive?